Carissa Lee.CO™Explore Mad Lab
Savage / No fluff / Good advice

Savage
Marketing™.

Brutally honest, slightly unhinged marketing and brand advice for people who are tired of being ignored online.

AI-powered tools / Reviewed by Carissa

Your brand called. It wants better marketing.

AI-powered marketing tools with real creative intelligence behind them. Personalized strategy, sharper content, and zero awkward consultation calls.

No meetings required.

Answer a short questionnaire. That's it.

Made for your business.

Built from your answers — not a generic template.

AI-powered, professionally designed.

AI drafts it. Carissa reviews every result before it's yours.

AI-assisted · Human-reviewed

Savage Social Bio Fix

$19

Your bio has one job. Let's make it do it.

  • 3 rewritten social profile bios
  • Headline suggestions
  • 3 call-to-action options
  • Keyword recommendations
  • A short why-this-works note

Delivery: Within 2 business days after payment, by private email link (or in your account) with a PDF download.

AI-assisted · Human-reviewed

Savage 30-Day Content Calendar

$39

A month of posts that actually sound like you.

  • 30 tailored post ideas
  • Hooks and caption drafts
  • Calls to action
  • Content pillars and suggested formats
  • A practical publishing calendar

Delivery: Within 2 business days after payment, by private email link (or in your account) with a PDF download.

Not instant: every result is checked by Carissa before delivery. Custom illustration, full branding, websites, UX/UI, Builder Sessions and Tech Help stay fully human — see Services. Already ordered? My Savage orders →

What it is

Advice with the gloves off.

Marketing advice from a designer-developer who has built brands from zero — no corporate fluff, no "synergy," no 47-step funnels. Just what's broken, why nobody's clicking, and how to fix it before lunch.

Brand Roasts

Real brands, real critique. Lovingly brutal.

Marketing Mistakes

The stuff quietly costing you sales.

Do This Instead

Clear fixes you can actually ship.

Digital product

The Savage Toolkit

$27
  • Brand Audit Checklist
  • Logo Mistakes Guide
  • Caption Formula Sheet

Instant digital download — your PDF is ready the moment payment completes.

Service / Written teardown

Get Roasted. In Writing.

$87

A savage but helpful written teardown of your brand, website, or socials. No video call. No awkward small talk. Just the honest truth and a plan to fix it.

The Savage Score

A funny, honest rating of your brand's first impression.

Top 5 Problems

What's costing you attention and sales, explained plainly.

3 Fixes for This Week

Simple changes you can make right away.

Delivered in 3 business days

As a PDF to your email.

  1. Submit your linkFill out a short form with your website or social profile.
  2. I roast itI review it personally and write your teardown.
  3. You fix itYou get your report and your action plan.

Limited to 5 roasts per week so every one gets real attention.

Want me to fix it for you instead? Let's talk about a custom brand project.

Sample brand roast: Honey & Hustle Boutique, a fictional handmade-goods brand, scored 4/10 with its top 5 problems and 3 fixes for this week
Sample roast — "Honey & Hustle" is an example brand, so nobody real gets hurt.
Recent posts

Fresh from the feed.

Holy Cow Creamery ad — a woman eating a giant ice-cream sundae on a therapy couch while a therapist looks on.
Your therapist charges $150. We charge $6.
Dirty Little Secrets Cleaning Co. ad — a retro cleaning lady scrubbing a chaotic living room beside a guilt-trip checklist, with a guilty golden retriever at her feet.
Good people. Messy homes. Welcome.
Root Revival Salon ad — a smiling client sips from a Better Hair, Brighter Boundaries cup while her colorist foils her roots and a bored therapist waits with a Daddy Issues checklist.
We fix roots. Not daddy issues.
Dead Gorgeous Lash Studio ad — a woman with dramatic lashes sipping an iced coffee as an ex and his new girlfriend stare in disbelief behind her.
Lashes longer than your last relationship.
Kiss & Tell Lipstick Co. ad — a retro blonde applying lipstick at a vanity beside a checklist of ex-red flags.
Lasts longer than his promises.
Shady Business Window Tint Co. ad — a glamorous woman in sunglasses leaning out of a fully tinted car while nosy neighbors watch from a hedge.
Because some of y'all need to be seen less.
The Last Straw Plumbing Co. ad — a plumber holding her nose while plunging a filthy toilet beside a no-judgment service checklist.
We've seen worse things than your search history.
Final Destination Motors ad — a vintage muscle car up on a lift in a garage beside a tumbler reading Fueled by Cars & Bad Ideas.
Our prices are killer. Our brakes aren't.
Bad Decisions Bakery poster — a baker surrounded by cakes, cookies and brownies with a bad decisions checklist.
Your diet starts Monday. Again.
Savage Marketing™ post — Carissa Lee sipping from a tumbler beside a case file titled Are You a Victim of Logo Design Fraud?
Logo design fraud: case open.
Sweet Tooth Bakery post — retro winking soda-fountain waitress with a pink soft-serve cone.
A treat that won't ghost you.
Sweet Tooth Bakery BOGO Friday post — a cup of caramel-drizzled ice cream scoops with sprinkles.
Take two, they're small Fridays.

Want to actually learn how to build this stuff yourself?

Explore the Academy

Need me to do it for you?

See Services
Questions? Give us a call.

Call Our Team

Have a question about our services, courses, or products? Give us a call and our virtual receptionist, Rachel, can help you get started.

+1 (225) 513-7369Rachel is an AI virtual receptionist.